the legend of zelda: Ocarina of turd
by theistegg
Summary: a joerney of laughs and almost death what will happen in this story? read and find out!
1. Chapter 1

Thanks for reading my stories I havent been writing becase I have a life plus –sadly no internet! I don't own legend of zelda if I did – I will rule you all ! muahaaha!

The legend of zelda: ocarina of terd

"Navi where art'thou" said great deku tree . "find the boy in green destined to save hyrule "."um" called navi " what boy in green? There are ton of em'"" the one that live's on the tree" he called out "dude all of them live on a tree!" yelled the blue lightbulb fairy. "the one who has no fairy artard!"he said through gritted teeth – very clearly becase he has no teeth "ok-ok " navi said " mother fu***!

So navi went off to find the boy who has no fairy. what will happen next view it next time on legend of zelda : ocarina of terd .

**Not very bad ey? My first story please review! :) please no flames . the make me sad.:(**


	2. Chapter 2

The legend of Zelda: ocarina of turd chapter 2

*Insert heroic theme*

As we left off. Our nagging little fairy came to search for… Link. She came across 1 person nobody liked .Mido.

When she encountered Mido, she said" hey homie wheres does dis link live?""He lives over there "once he lifted his finger to point BUT he got slugged by a bat "where do you keep those things?"He sobbed "somewhere" she stated and took his money. Then left. Once she came to his house, she screamed "WAKE UP LAZY retarted GUY " as if on command he woke up and saluted"" MOM! I NEED PROTECTION!" "Dude just wake your lazy ass up and go to the deku tree." Once they left to the deku tree Mido stopped them with his invisible blocking powers. "Hey hold on a second, you need a shield and swords to enter so go get one. Youll find a shield but not a sword. "He then laughs like a maniac and tells them to leave. So they buy a cheap shield for 40 rupees and then go find a sword in a grove full of huge rolling boulders that can kill. So link equips the sword and shield with the A button goes to Mido and slashes at him. But Mido has freaky powers and cannot die. So he talks to him and passes to the deku tree.

Link goes to the trail of the deku tree and finds a deku baba " wow what a nice deku baba. Aw it's withered let me puts some water on it" just when he watered it the deku baba spoke and thanking link for watering him gave him 100 rupees and flew with little sparkles following behind it ."Wow that was weird but hey free rupees. Just as they entered a stripper left. When they talked to the deku tree was pulling up his bark. So the deku tree told link a really boring lecture of the gods that I'm too lazy to write. So he told them to go inside him and kill the monster that killing him from the inside

**Wow sorry I took so long to update I had many things going on ok I deserve flames just go with it.*_***


	3. Chapter 3

Authors' note: I do not own legend of Zelda. If I did that would be epic.

*insert heroic theme*

As we left of in our little adventure. Link and navi went inside the deku tree….

"Hey navi"" why is there a big spider web in the middle of the room" called out link, "I duno,"

They went to climb the stairs and head left to find a treasure chest. *da da da da daaa * a box appeared out of nowhere * you got a map! The flashing room are the one that your currently in and the dark ones are to be visited.* "am I hallucinating or what "navi slapped herself a few times. "No I'm not, that's just weird. So the duo went farther towards the duku trees ass. So they found a slingshot and a floating ladder. Link kept missing so navi snatched it and shot the ladder with perfect aim thus knocking it down "hey I have good aim too. When the ammo is on fire (?) so they left the room and went to the highest part of the room jumped off thus ripping the spider web in half. Link and navi ended up in a room thus link landing on the hard floor shattering his legs "I NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION "he yelled "what you need is special attention "navi said in reply, but the fairy had pity in him and gave him two deku sticks as crutches so he set one on fire to burn the spider web he entered the other room to find a hole in the middle he jumped in and fell in the water. There are three deku scrubs in the room and one of them said "INTRUDER" so link threw his sword and shield at one missing him the other one wasn't so lucky ,the last one laughed so hard he died the only one remaining told him the password and let him in

They engaged queen Gomma

GOMMA THE PARASITE :

LIKES: EATING

DISLIKES: anything else

As they engaged gomma, link threw his shield at it knocking it down link kept slashing till gomma surrendered she gave link a heart container and left the deku trees ass.

*outside the deku tree*

Link you did it you are destined to save hyrule, but I'm still going to die so he flung the stone at navi crushing her and spilling blood every where 'so long bitches!" the deku called then died

Well then let's go link to the castle! The strategy guide says to go there.

**Please review por favor! (Please)any review would be nice even a little hi is ok! **


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